Funny thing about life, things you thought you’d never be able to do become a habit. And once that habit forms it’s dreadfully hard to break or even step away from.
The first months of med school I was always worried I’d never be able to put in the work. I was worried that the sheer quantity of what I needed to know was so much I’d be discouraged and apathetic and stop before I start. That was before I realized the potent power of indoctrination.
This winter break marks one and a half years since I began medical school. I’m three days into break, and all three days I’d catch myself thinking of things I had to do. Thinking, wait I didn’t hear lecture. No, wait there was no lecture…. I think of tasks, lectures, studying, emails, work all that needs to be done. And I’ve consciously had to stop myself from thinking of the work.
Instead I’ve thrown myself into all the things I’ve neglected these past six months in medical school. This involves exciting things like endless hours of TV. Getting up to go to the gym’s surprisingly become a chore since I have to break away from the fascination of Newsroom or Royal Pains. I think I’m succesfully resisting the indoctrination at this point- getting 10 hours of sleep a day, eating relaxed meals and not doing anything. The bliss of stillness (relatively speaking of course) is unparalleled.
I still however have work to do, and I intend to do it smack in the middle of my vacation. Since my bioethics program is so relaxed I have papers still due, however I intend to do them in the next few days- sitting at a little cafe in London.
So that’s how I intend to get away from this before I start the torture of preparing for my Boards. For those of you who remain blissfully unaware- the boards are the licensing exams we have to take over our medical education. The first one, Step 1, is to be taken at the end of second year. It covers all the material we’ve learnt in the first two years of medical school and is a 8 hour behemoth. So, I intend to profess ignorance at my eventual fate and enjoy the next few days in London.